Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Before the little big fight

This is the product of my 'Write, Breathe, Perform' workshop with Candy Royalle. Exploring vulnerability in our exercises we picked a moment of importance and explore it through different ways of writing, then were given the opportunity to share our thoughts with the rest of the group (maybe 20 all told). I picked a dark moment from my childhood (which was by the way despite this content a pretty cool place to be a kid - but being a kid is full of dark things as well as saccharin sodium, as my favourite kids stories were always a little but Grimm)... thanks to Candy and to the class of 2014 from the workshop for the support and kindness that drew this out. It was a wonderful experience and I'll be writing better in future because of the energy we shared.

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Twenty feet from the school gate
the brick bunkers and bright blue bars
keep us safe
but this is a prison break.
They're keeping him late,
gives me a chance to get away.
everyone knows,
even the teachers know;
THE FIGHT
is all anyone talked about
all fucking day.
We five are the only witnesses
Daniel Harris
Daniel Harper
two others, names lost
their hands hold just as tight without names.
Tackled,
Trapped
but not attacked.
They're not here to hurt me
just to make sure I don't flee.
This confrontation WILL take place.
It's a beautiful day for a fight
blue skies are heavy
under school shoes and brute strength.
If I close my eyes, I'm strong,
I'm wrestling with John at home...
...but I still lose.
I can't move
I can't run
I can't have fun,
chase balls or bugs
like the dogs in the distance.
Cars glide by but don't stop;
Do they think we're playing?
The biting gravel of this drive-away
is far from a level field.
This isn't tick-tack-toe or tag,
thee are no kisses at the end of this chase
just a face, bruised
from tear tracks held back,
eyes sore from not crying.
Don't cry,
they only laugh when you cry.
I can't move
but if I don't try
he'll be released from\prison
and I'll have to carry the shame of another beating.
Mum says the bigger man walks away
I can't even move.
They'll let me go
when the stones rattle under his feet
when my bones rattle under his fist.
I will never
EVER
fight back.